Philip Newton (pne) wrote,
Philip Newton
pne

Top 10 Ways General Authorities Eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

(via my sister)

#10. Paul H. Dunn: "I remember back in WWII that I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Back then, they were big enough to live on for a week. Being the only soldier to have survived the battle in my brigade, I really didn't know if I could eat it or not, but I remember my fallen buddy's words as he died in my arms: "Paul, if you just take one bite at a time you can tackle anything." So I took that giant cup and, breaking it with the bat Babe Ruth gave me after I struck him out with two outs in the bottom of the ninth in the seventh game of the World Series, proceeded to wolf down the tiny morsels."

#9. David B. Haight: "Imagine 70 years ago on a rough road between Idaho and Logan. There were no Circle K's, no 7-11's. You had to bring your Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with you. Ruby and I split one for the first time in 1937."

#8. Dallin H. Oaks: "The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup challenges us to consume. From the beginning there have been three steps in eating a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. First, remove the wrapper. This is best done quickly, by turning the cup over, grasping the outer fold and pulling away from the bottom. Second . . ."

#7. Joseph B. Wirthlin: "When I was young I would sprint to the corner store, buy a Reese's and run my hand through my hair before taking in down in one bite. These days I don't sprint, and I have no hair, but the peanut butter cup remains."

#6. Richard G. Scott: "If you have not eaten a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I plead with you. Eat one now. Enjoy the chocolate, the peanut butter. Do not delay. If you have thought, "That's not for me", I plead with you to reconsider. Of all foods I treasure, this one was the first."

#5. M. Russell Ballard: "The time has come when members of the church need to reach out to our friends and share a cup, a peanut butter cup. It is not enough to raise a chocolate bar, it must now have peanut butter."

#4. Thomas S. Monson: "I remember I ate my first Reese's Peanut Butter Cup when I was a tender lad of eight: My mother came up to me, and with a loving twinkle in her eye, asked, 'Tommy, are you eating a Reese's?' 'And I would simile up to her, 'Yes, yes, I am.' 'But Tommy, did you know that Sister Jensen next door hasn't eaten a Reese's Cup in years?' My young mind thought upon the plight of my neighbor. Tears were shed. Hearts were gladdened. A cup was shared."

#3. Boyd K. Packer: "In all my years, I have always eaten my Reese's Peanut Butter Cups the same way - the established way we have been instructed to eat them. There is a far greater evil in this world, though - those who believe they can eat their cups in a way unconventional to the time-honored manner. We must be true and faithful and eat our Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the customary and recognized approach as it has been established."

#2. Neal A. Maxwell: "I intentionally initiate the delicious design of deglutition of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup by nibbling a negligible nit of the culinary creamy cavalcade. It is exclusively through small entities that the great things are fabricated."

AND THE #1 WAY

J. Golden Kimball: "H_____, Heber, I'll eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup any d_______ way I want!"


Addendum: V. Dallas Merrell: "Will you eat this Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?"

Some of them really evoke the way they speak :)

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