Philip Newton (pne) wrote,
Philip Newton

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The name meme

If you call me Philip, then you know me fairly to moderately well, probably from real life, but possibly from the net.

If you call me Pheelip, then you're my aunt Eva, or possibly a slightly misguided German.

If you spell my name Philipp, you're a misguided German; if you spell my name Phillip, you're a misguided American.

If you call me Phil, then you're probably a missionary. If you call me Phyl, I'll be a bit peeved since Phyl Newton is female. (If you know who that is, raise your hand.) (She's also the reason why I used to dislike being called "Phil".)

If you call me Flip, and you're not Sarah or Leif, I won't listen.

If you call me Philli-Willi, you're my sister Ireen. Same for plain "Willi", "Lieblingsbruder", or "Mega-Master". (Thereby hangs a tale.)

If you call me Müsli-Jochen or simply Müsli or Jochen, you're from northern Germany (Neumünster Stake) and know me from scouting from when I was 12–15.

If you call me by a body part of a certain animal, you're my mother calling me by her pet name for me.

If you call me My Only Begotten Son, you're my father.

If you call me Uncle Philip, you're my sister and you're talking to her daughter.

If you call me "peony", you know me from LiveJournal support.

If you call me /pne:/, you probably know me from work.

If you call me "pne", you know me online, probably from LiveJournal and more specifically from #lj_support.

If you call me "Dear LiveJournal user pne", you're on the LiveJournal Abuse Team, possibly Frank the goat.

If you call me pne-ga, you know me from Google Answers. If you call me The Harmless Stalker, you're a Google Answers Researcher; if you call me Philip the Harmless, then probably missysedai.

If you call me Elder Newton, you were probably a missionary in the same mission as I. If you call me Πρεσβύτερε Νιούτον (Prezvítere Nioúton), you knew me during the first half of my mission; if you call me Πρεσβύτερε Νεύτων (Prezvítere Néfton), you knew me during the second half of my mission. (If you call me Πρεσβύτερε Νεύτωνα [Prezvítere Néftona], you knew me during the second half of my mission and you're a Greek.) If you call me simply Νεύτων (Néfton), you're probably also a missionary who knows me from my mission.

If you call me Φίλιππε (Fílipe), you're a Greek. If you call me Φίλιππα (Fílipa), you're a slightly misguided Greek. (I take it that Φίλιππας [Fílipas], of which that is the vocative, is a variant of Φίλιππος [Fílipos], possibly a bit more "modern" [like Γιώργος vs. Γεώργιος], but it's not the variant I prefer to be known by.)

If you call me Brother Newton or Bruder Newton, you're another Latter-day Saint (Mormon).

If you call me Herr Newton, you're probably a salesperson, or somebody who doesn't know me well.

If you call me Philip.Newton, de.comp.lang.perl.cgi,, pnewton, or a number of other things, you're a spammer. Double spammer points for calling me "pnewman".

If you call me Mizinamo, then you're somebody who associates people with AIM screen names, and I've never met you yet. Or possibly you know me from the ZBB. If you call me Filipo Petrei Lebdaney, you almost certainly know me from the ZBB.

If you call me Shinmachi-kun (新町君), then you're my second Japanese teacher. If you call me Nakamachi-kun (中町君), then you're my second Japanese teacher being forgetful and confusing me with someone else she knows.

If you call me Dad, you're joyitude.

If you call me Schnuckel, Schatz, or Schnuckelschatz, you're Stella.

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