So I thought I’d play The Sims 3 again. It prompted me to upgrade from 1.2.7 to 1.10.6, which I did.
Start the game, load my family… and crash to desktop after loading about a quarter of the way.
Tried to start an entirely new game… same result. Deleted some cache files in my "Electronic Arts\The Sims 3" directory… still no dice.